ADHD and Autism in Children and Adolescents
At Oasis Psychological Services, we offer thorough and compassionate assessments for Autism and ADHD. Our team includes HCPC-registered Clinical Psychologists and Speech and Language Therapists who specialise in working with neurodivergent children and young people.
We follow the latest NICE guidelines and use trusted, evidence-based tools to guide our assessments. Just as importantly, we take a neuroaffirming approach — recognising that every child has their own unique strengths, ways of thinking, and ways of experiencing the world. Some of our clinicians also bring their own lived experience of being neurodivergent, which brings added depth, understanding and authenticity to the work we do.
We have built a strong reputation across Kent and beyond, with many families travelling from outside the county to access our services. Most of our referrals come through word of mouth — a reflection of the trust placed in us by parents, schools, local authorities, and NHS CAMHS teams.
Above all, our aim is to understand your child as a whole person. We work closely with you throughout the process to ensure they are genuinely seen, heard, and supported.
Every Mind is Unique: Identifying Autism, ADHD — especially when it presents differently
Girls, Autism and ADHD: What Parents Need to Know
As mental health clinicians with specialist expertise in Autism and ADHD across the life span, we’ve seen time and again how girls are often missed, misunderstood, or misdiagnosed. Their experiences can look very different from what many people – including professionals – expect. At Oasis Psychological Services, we’re deeply committed to raising awareness of how neurodivergence presents in girls and ensuring that their needs are recognised and supported.
So, what should parents and carers know?
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It can look different in girls.
Girls with Autism or ADHD often show more subtle signs than boys. They may be quieter, more inwardly anxious, or highly focused on masking their difficulties to fit in socially. They might appear to be coping on the surface – but underneath, they’re working incredibly hard just to manage day-to-day. -
Masking is exhausting.
Many girls learn to copy, camouflage, or hide their differences in order to blend in. This is often not a conscious choice but a survival strategy. While they might appear sociable and successful at school, this can come at the cost of significant emotional exhaustion, overwhelm, and meltdowns at home. -
They are often mislabelled.
Instead of being recognised as neurodivergent, girls are more likely to be labelled as anxious, shy, sensitive, or even oppositional. Their strengths (such as empathy, creativity, or determination) can sometimes mask the level of support they need, leaving them to struggle silently. -
It often goes unnoticed until later.
We frequently see girls who are referred for assessment in their teens, or even in adulthood, after years of feeling ‘different’, confused, or overwhelmed. Early identification matters – it opens the door to understanding, support, and self-acceptance.
PDA: When Everyday Demands Feel Overwhelming
Some neurodivergent children and young people show a distinctive profile often referred to as PDA — sometimes described as a Persistent Drive for Autonomy. This isn’t simply about a “need to be in control,” but a deeply rooted need to feel safe, autonomous, and free from perceived pressure.
For individuals with a PDA profile, everyday demands — even those that seem small or routine — can feel overwhelming or triggering. These demands can activate a fight, flight, or freeze response in the nervous system, often linked to high levels of anxiety. What may look like avoidance or refusal is often a protective response to feeling unsafe or out of control.
Children may use strategies such as negotiation, distraction, humour, or complete withdrawal to reduce this internal pressure. These are not signs of defiance, but ways of coping with a world that feels unpredictable or intrusive.
At Oasis Psychological Services, we recognise that while current research and diagnostic frameworks often describe the PDA profile as part of the wider autism spectrum, our clinical experience shows that similar patterns of demand avoidance can also be present in children and adolescents with ADHD. These young people are often misunderstood, and their behaviours may be mislabelled as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), a diagnosis that can place blame on the child and their family, rather than recognising the underlying neurodivergence.
In many cases, these difficulties reflect an ADHD nervous system struggling with anxiety, sensory sensitivities, and demands that feel overwhelming or misaligned with their cognitive and emotional needs. Labelling these responses as ‘defiance’ risks overlooking the child’s distress and the adaptations they may need to feel safe and understood.
As part of our comprehensive Autism and ADHD assessments, we explore indicators of a PDA profile where relevant. We listen closely to lived experiences, take the full context into account, and offer thoughtful, compassionate reflections to help families understand and support their child in a way that is both respectful and neuroaffirming.
Our Step-by-Step Assessment Process
1. Free Initial Telephone Call
We offer a free, no-obligation phone call to hear your concerns, gather some initial information, and answer any questions you may have. This may be a helpful step if you would like more information before deciding whether to book an assessment.
To book a call, please contact us by email, as this is the quickest way to arrange a call with Dr Floriana Reinikis, our Consultant Clinical Psychologist.
2. The Initial Psychological Assessment
This is a dedicated 90-minute appointment, which can be held either online or in person at our offices in Ashford, Kent. The session is designed to help us gain a deeper understanding of your child or young person’s developmental history, current strengths and challenges, and what has led you to seek support at this time. One of out clinical psychologists will meet with you and your child.
Many neurodevelopmental and mental health conditions—such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC)—can share overlapping features. For example, difficulties with attention, emotional regulation, or social interaction may be present across several different conditions. In some cases, these challenges may be better explained by a combination of factors, including anxiety, trauma, learning differences, or sensory processing needs.
Because of this, the initial consultation plays a vital role in building a clearer picture of what may be contributing to your child’s experiences. It provides a structured, supportive space to explore their history, needs, and lived experience in context.
Together, we will decide whether a specialist assessment for Autism or ADHD is the most appropriate next step, or whether an alternative pathway of support might be more helpful. Our approach is always collaborative, thoughtful, and guided by what will be most meaningful and supportive for your child and family.
3. The ADHD/Autism Assessment Stage
Following the initial consultation, we offer comprehensive ADHD and Autism assessments using gold-standard tools, in line with NICE guidelines and DSM-5 criteria. This stage includes:
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Direct clinical session of 60-90 minutes (depending on child's age) with your child or young person. This is preferably in-person in our clinic. It includes:
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Informal, child-led conversation
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Exploration of their strengths, challenges, and lived experiences
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Use of structured assessment tools such as the ADOS-2 (for Autism) and QbCheck (for ADHD)
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Detailed parental interview, gathering detailed developmental history and contextual information
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Teacher feedback through reports, questionnaires, phone calls to understand your child’s functioning, strengths, and needs in the school environment
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Evidence-based screening questionnaires, using the most up-to-date tools to support diagnostic formulation
Throughout the process, we take a neuroaffirming and child-centred approach, ensuring each young person feels safe, respected, and supported.
If you would like more information or guidance on how to prepare your child, please email us — we will be happy to send you a detailed e-booklet outlining what to expect.
4. Feedback and Report
Once the assessment is complete, we invite you — and your child or young person, where appropriate — to a collaborative feedback session. During this meeting, we will discuss the assessment findings in detail, including any diagnoses (where appropriate), and explore how these relate to your child’s lived experiences.
Our approach is always respectful and person-centred. We focus not only on areas of difficulty but also on your child’s strengths, interests, and individuality. We view assessment as part of an ongoing exploration of identity, not simply a checklist of challenges. That said, clearly identifying and understanding those challenges is essential in helping the wider system — including schools and other professionals — provide the right support.
Following the feedback session, you will receive a comprehensive written report within 3–4 weeks. This report includes a full summary of the assessment, identified needs, and tailored, practical recommendations to guide support at home, school, and beyond.
Post-Diagnostic Support
We recognise that understanding a child’s neurodivergent profile is only the beginning of the journey. Following the assessment, we offer post-diagnostic support for both you as parents and your child or young person. This may include:
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Tailored psychoeducation to help make sense of the assessment findings in everyday life
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Support in parenting through a neurodivergent lens, with practical strategies grounded in compassion and understanding
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Guidance around educational support, including working with schools to implement recommendations
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Support with anxiety, self-esteem, masking, and other areas where emotional wellbeing may be impacted
Dr Reinikis also offers parent workshops on Autism and ADHD, designed to help families feel more informed, empowered, and connected. Our aim is to provide ongoing support that is thoughtful, personalised, and rooted in a neuroaffirming approach.
Forgetful, Disorganised, Stuck? It Might Be Executive Functioning
Executive functioning refers to a set of cognitive skills that help us plan, organise, start tasks, manage time, remember information, and regulate emotions. These are the brain’s “management” tools — and when they aren’t working as efficiently, it can have a big impact on daily life. Many children and young people with ADHD and Autism experience executive difficulties, which may present as working memory challenges, organisation difficulties, difficulty starting tasks, or becoming overwhelmed by changes or multi-step instructions. These experiences are often misunderstood as laziness or defiance, when in fact they reflect meaningful differences in how the neurodivergent brain processes everyday demands.
At Oasis Psychological Services, we explore executive functioning as an essential part of every ADHD and Autism assessment. Using executive functioning rating scales, alongside clinical observation and interviews, we build a holistic understanding of how your child thinks, learns, and responds to their environment. This helps us offer tailored, neuroaffirming recommendations that support your child in ways that truly work for them — at home, in school, and beyond.
Signs of ADHD and Autism That Are Easy to Miss
Not all signs of ADHD or Autism are obvious — in fact, many children and young people live with hidden signs of ADHD or quiet autism that are frequently overlooked or misunderstood. These more subtle presentations often go unrecognised, particularly in girls, highly sensitive children, and those with strong social motivation or high academic ability.
Children may appear to be coping well on the surface, yet experience significant inner distress or fatigue. For example, a child with subtle signs of neurodivergence might:
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Seem very anxious or perfectionistic, trying to do everything “just right” to avoid criticism
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Overcompensate by being extremely polite, helpful, or eager to please — even when it’s exhausting
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Appear highly intelligent or capable in some areas, masking difficulties with attention, memory, or transitions
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Use socially acceptable ways to express hyperactivity — such as constant talking, fidgeting, or over-involvement in classroom activities
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Avoid demands through humour, negotiation, or passive resistance, rather than obvious refusal
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Come home emotionally overwhelmed after ‘holding it together’ all day at school
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Struggle with friendships in subtle ways, such as difficulty maintaining boundaries or being overly compliant
These presentations are often missed because they don’t fit traditional stereotypes. A child might be labelled as “anxious,” “perfectionist,” “too sensitive,” or simply “bright but scattered,” when in fact, they are navigating the world with an undiagnosed neurodivergent profile.
At Oasis Psychological Services, we specialise in recognising these more complex and internalised presentations. Our neuroaffirming assessments take into account masking, executive functioning, and emotional wellbeing, helping us understand the whole child — not just what is seen on the surface. Identifying these subtle signs can be life-changing for families, opening the door to greater self-understanding, support, and compassion.
Hidden Signs of ADHD and Autism in Children: Why Schools May Overlook Neurodivergent Behaviours
It’s not unusual for schools to report that a child appears to be managing well, even when parents have significant concerns at home. This can be especially true for children who are highly compliant, academically able, or skilled at masking their difficulties in structured settings. However, masking — the ability to hide or suppress signs of distress or difference — is often a sign of significant internal effort and can lead to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout.
At Oasis Psychological Services, we take a holistic approach to assessment and consider all aspects of a child’s functioning, across home, school, and within the clinical setting. While school feedback is a valuable part of the process, it is not the sole source of information. For children in primary school, we may recommend a school observation, particularly if there are concerns about masking. Our clinicians are highly experienced in recognising subtle signs of distress and well-developed masking strategies, which can easily be overlooked by others.
Even when behaviours are not overtly challenging in school, we are trained to notice the small indicators — such as emotional withdrawal, overcompliance, perfectionism, or excessive reliance on peers — that may reflect underlying neurodivergent needs. Our goal is to build a comprehensive picture of your child’s experience, ensuring that any needs are understood and validated, even if they are not immediately visible to others.